When I lost my feeling of happiness, I subconsciously thought I had lost my ability to feel happy. Because everything was "perfect." I had everything I ever wanted. So my mind told me; I should feel happy!
It didn't work.
Instead of feeling happy, I felt guilty for my unhappiness. And when you think you have lost your ability to feel happy, it isn't hard to imagine the feelings of hopelessness and unworthiness entering your world. I was heading towards a life-long depression.
During my existential crisis (aka my awakening), I discovered the importance of happiness and why we should never stop searching for it. Once you have found it, you know you have developed the ability to feel it. That ability will never leave you, but happiness will grow and require different things, sometimes radically different from before.
Whey they talk about how lucky they are, it could be a sign of how unhappy they feel
- Jay Pritchett, Modern Family
Why have so many people stopped searching for happiness?
Why did I stop searching for happiness?
Is there anyone or anything that benefits from our unhappiness?
(These are my answer not based on knowingness but based on my beliefs, and I could be wrong about everything)
1. Why have so many people stopped searching for happiness?
Many people, including myself, have reached a difficult threshold in personal development. When we go from personal development to personal growth. Personal growth occurs when consciousness expands, going from the physical into the metaphysical. (I am not bragging.
Until we learn how to master this level, it feels more like a curse than a blessing, and I am still learning).
"Where attention goes, energy flows"
- Dr. Joe Dispensa
The metaphysical world is a world we have paid little attention to in our post-modern, secular, scientific, relativistic, and pluralistic culture. Our consciousness expands from behavior, habits, and attitudes into values and beliefs—things we can't objectively observe and measure. We are going from control into liberation from limiting beliefs about ourselves. We are going from matter to vibration. We are moving away from hustling without integrity into harmony with dignity. We go from manifestation into channeling, learning to collaborate with the flow of life and letting go of control. We become more value-driven, where methods matter as much as worthy goals.
We stop searching for happiness because this threshold is too hard. It demands too much from us.
2. Why did I stop searching for happiness?
I stopped searching for happiness because this threshold was too hard. It demanded too much of me. I stopped searching for happiness because I could not handle my level of ignorance which I needed to reconcile with for me to move on. Almost everything that I had created was created from a place of separation and a scarcity mindset. How to master the transition going from separation to oneness. Going from scarcity into believing there is enough of everything we need for everyone. How to change my methods for "winning" into sustainable practices for true collaboration where we are allowed to be not equal but unique? Almost all of my relationships were built on transactions; what we could do for one another. This became clear to me when I got sick, and I could no longer deliver on my side of the bargain... When I was lost, confused, sad, and depressed, many of my "friends" disappeared. I should say thank you and be well. I needed to forgive myself for my level of ignorance.
No relationship will be unaffected by the changes that need to take place once you hav reached this treshold on your growth journey.
3. Is there anyone or anything that benefits from our unhappiness?
Some people will tell you that happiness is about lowering your expectations in life. To learn how to compromise, find coping strategies like breathing for 10 minutes or taking a cold shower. Some people will tell you to hold on to old relationships. Some people shame you for being unhappy instead of listening to you. "Modern" medicine will tell you to take your pill(s). What if these people haven't mastered the transition from personal development to personal growth? What if they can't relate to your experience? What if they subconsciously want everything to stay the same, including you? What if they have become misanthropists without even knowing it? Driven by the subconscious fear of change and being left behind? What if the people at the top of this post-modern, secular, scientific, relativistic, and pluralistic culture have everything to lose when awareness wants to grow into a deeper understanding of our reality, into balance, harmony, authenticity, intention, attention, and vibration? What if too many countries, businesses, prognoses, and people benefit from you being unhappy and staying that way?
What if unhappiness is a healthy response to a system that is broken and a world gone mad?
What if happiness is placed on a developmental line?
What if happiness and our definition of it need to develop in line with our consciousness and our framework of the world? What if a deeper level of happiness goes from being safe to having fun to the desire to be true? To stand in your truth, grounded, with ease, grace, and flow? To do more of what you are instead of doing things you don't want and no longer believe in, however good the cause may be?
Here is a personal note on happiness!
Happiness is about self-sufficiency and independence. It is about money and possessions and manifesting materialistic wealth in the physical world. Happiness is about competence and confidence. Happiness is competing and winning.
Happiness is in money. Happiness is about self-actualization and ego manifestation. Happiness is about pleasure and fun. Happiness is found in social belongingness. Happiness is found in work. In outside validation. Happiness is in attraction and being desirable. Happiness is in great sex. Happiness is in giving and receiving love. Happiness is found in experiences and changes of scenery. Happiness is in good food. Happiness is in dancing. Happiness is in collaboration, in a community, and in supporting others.
Then happiness matures and wants all of the above but only with balance and harmony. Happiness will only present itself when everything is in alignment. Then, happiness gets picky and will only be present when we are authentic. Then, happiness starts to question what is real and true.
Happiness demands an individual ethical framework to be practiced daily. Happiness creates its own narrative of reality and demands that you live by it no matter how crazy you look.
Happiness expands into a more profound desire called soul actualization. Happiness becomes a sense of fulfillment when we are authentic, open, and honest. Happiness no longer cares about random people's approval. Happiness wants to be emotionally well and independent. Happiness becomes less dramatic and less explosive. When harmony, alignment, and authenticity exist, happiness is everywhere, all the time, from the source of energy from within. Happiness wants meaning. When we become authentic, happiness is in the journey.
What if happiness is placed on a developmental line?
What if happiness needs to be in line with the level of your consciousness?
What if boredom is our wake-up call for growth?
And what if your culture isn't as developed in consciousness as you are?
What if the quest for happiness is crucial for this planet?
What if one level of happiness is being true?
What if the highest level of altruism starts with you making yourself happy first?
What if making yourself happy is the most selfless thing you can do for yourself and every living thing on this planet?
Beyond the sensation of safe through money and materialistic wealth, beyond having fun seeking instant gratification, and beyond mechanic consumerism is a desire for more tangible life experiences, more personal growth, and contributing for real to a better world —no, it is not childish, it is child-like, a magical ingredient in our grown-up lives. This level of consciousness is what we need to find, one person at a time. I have read about many different experiences of the expansion of consciousness. Every person's experience is different, but there are things many of us have in common. Often an awakening is preceded by a mental breakdown and a psychological crisis.
But, on the other side of this mental breakdown, we desire the same things; Deep and meaningful connections with ourselves and others. To truly belong and contribute. To express ourselves authentically. To stand in our potential and master something we love doing. That is why it is important for us never to stop the search for happiness.