I have been standing still for a while, just observing the madness in Sweden consumed by the question; What happened with Sweden and how to fix it, and what happened to me and how to fix that?
Sometimes the best thing we can do is simply to observe the madness and handle the burden of being a silent observer of mass disruption, destruction and change.
To me, It is a burden to observe
To me, It is overwhelming of sorrow
To me, It is a dark dungeon of confusion
As I am moving from participating into observing –without judging– interesting things happen with the scenery. Confusion eventually turns to clarity, and this is my insight:
Everything is connected and we all participated in the madness in our country (me included) and it started a long time ago.
Meditation is a great tool to gain clarity. In my visioning process, I give myself instructions and I ask high-quality questions like: I release that of what is holding me back that no longer serve me, and what wants to emerge within me? And eventually, clarity is heard beyond the ears, clarity is seen beyond the eyes, clarity is felt and I know I can move forward again, grounded in something new. What wanted to emerge, this time, was an important piece of my puzzle as I am moving forward. I found and understood my ethical and moral framework.
I seek the truth of my reality and I believe, that is the most ethical thing to do always, in every context.
Ethics is about my subjective belief and development about what is right and wrong, good or bad behavior in a situation. My ethics are built upon my character as an individual, and at some point my ethics build my character, I guess.
It is a mix of everything that has ever happened to me, everyone I have ever met. All the books, movies, art, I have ever consumed. All the struggles, all the life challenges, and everything and everyone that I have lost in my life. EVERYTHING shapes and develops our character and the ethical framework that comes with it.
As a result of childhood trauma, growing up surrounded by bad leaders, and depression, being rejected, emotionally neglected, ignored, abandoned, marginalized, and discriminated, and VERY LOVED THROUGH IT ALL, my ethical framework has made me into an extreme truth seeker.
Nothing overrides my need to understand the truth of my reality –because– In the most painful moments of my life, the truth of it was the only thing that eventually made sense. No matter how bad and ugly the truth was I accepted it and worked with it, and I saw my part in it. The truth has kept me going and growing.
I am an extreme truth seeker. It is what I have become. My need to seek the truth of my reality overrides the conformity of the group. It overrides the unhealthy group demands of niceness and consideration for other people's triggers and feelings that we have grown accustomed to in Sweden. It overrides the importance of my status, title, income, and social cluster –obviously. That's why I am extreme. So, I should not become a decision maker. Nothing should be dictated by an extremist, thats why my impact should be limited to inspiration and empowering others to take actions on parts of the story that I share.
However, some people will conform to group morals and override their own ethical framework if they feel slightly uncomfortable by a single question or a statement. That is also extreme but in the other way around. Their impact should be limited too.
I want to live authentically and take self-responsibility for my life and my destiny. There is no way I will pull that of unless I constantly seek the truth of my reality. At every level of awareness, there is ignorance at play. My authenticity depends upon my level of self-awareness, and awareness over all. There will always be subconscious lies hidden in every level of awareness because of ignorance. We will never get the full understanding of our reality, but ...
Ignorance can only be outgrown and transmuted with the truth and awareness and acceptance of that ignorance.
That's why my core ethical framework is: Keep seeking the truth of my reality, otherwise everything else falls apart.
If I have understod it correctly, morality reflects the level of cultural understanding and development of what is right, wrong, good, and bad in different situations. Our national morality is to override the truth by adapting to groupthink and obeying the narrative created by our politicians, academia- and cultural elite, and public service for many many decades.
No! I don't believe in a grand conspiracy theory. I would never give the social democratic party and the establishment that much credit, it is simply human behavior when the fear of change takes over and the lack of sense making creates anxiety and a scarcity mindset, making you overwhelmed. And the narrative goes:
The Green Party in Sweden is good for the environment and pursues a humane immigration policy. The Left Party is good for gender equality and women's rights. The Social Democrats pursue a healthy distribution of wealth and the need for a healthy balance between socialistic and capitalistic values are no longer needed. Government policy is socially and economically sustainable. The government cares about Sweden's best interests and wants to maintain a strong democracy, that is why fascist methods are justified. It is for the greater good. Activists are still journalists, and public service is censuring information in the name of care and consideration of the wellbeing of Swedes, in the name of inclusion and diversity. All of Sweden's problems are because of financial differences and the white and the rich are to blame for most of it, and that is not rasism, or ignorant or arrogant to say.
... Non of which is true.
As this self-image of our nation falls apart with a bang, it is painful to everybody that has participated in creating this image and sacrificed their ethical framework, in the process of maintaining it. In Sweden, we have become extreme conformists engaged in deep self-betrayal as a result of an unhealthy morality to obey the narrative no matter what!
When the individual ethical framework which is in my case - seek the truth of our reality - conflicts with the group's moral framework (spreading onto every industry) - being a conformist, agreeing, becoming submissive, and obeying - we have a few choices:
Choice number 1: We can become submissive and obey group morals. We fall in line with the narrative, for comfortable and prosperous reasons, maintaining a way of living, and maintain our power and influence.
... and we quietly agree not to ask awkward questions like what are we doing? Why do we do it? How should we succeed, and what is a success, and who decides that? What data do we use? What does our decision-making process look like? Who benefits and how and what will it do for the future? What is our time frame anyway, years, generations? In what way do we serve humanity? What are we aiming for here? Are we meeting our intentions? What beliefs are running the show, and what values do we believe in? Are we creating long-lasting sustainable changes for the better? And what does it all cost? And who is paying?
... And the subconscious self-disappointment that often comes with choice number 1, often makes these individuals loud and angry and obsessed in their convictions. They shame, blame, and guilt-trip people who ask inconvenient awkward questions, calling them "bad people". (I know because I have been here)
If this is allowed to go on and develop even deeper, people will choose number 1 to climb higher up in –what has become– a dominant power driven hierarchy leaving decency behind, making room for a narcissistic and pathological behavior driven by egocentric needs.
Choice number 2: We can be quiet and simply focus our attention on that area where we feel we still have some kind of control and knowledge of what the hell is going on. We become narrow-minded experts and specialists. (I know because I have been here)
Choice number 3: Fear and the sensation of being vulnerable takes over and we become silent, bored, depressed, and eventually physically and/or mentally ill falling into different addictions, promoting different cooping strategies. (I know because I have been here)
Choice number 4: We continue to seek the truth of our reality and stand in the vulnerability of losing everything we have worked so hard to achieve, and we do so consciously because without following one's ethical framework, what the hell is the point of all this? (I am here now, and my reality finally start to make sense again. I know what I have sacrificed, and NOW, I know why I did it)
And the beauty of the truth is this: Choice 1-4 could become a healthy developmental process for growing our ethical and moral compass as human evolution takes place in an ever so conservative manner demanding life experience for a deep understanding of the importance of ethical and moral framework for both individuals as well as the family, company, and the nation.
To have intellectual and theoretical knowledge about ethics and morals is one thing, to experience the consequence of losing it is something completely different ... It makes most of us feel like shit, for all the right reasons.
This is what happened to me. This developmental process. Everything can be fixed when we choose a learning- and growth mindset, and apply it in our everyday lives, starting with accepting the level of ignorance that has been at play in the creation of ourselves and the self-image of Sweden. In my quest for the truth here is one that I want to share with you'll that is the truth of my reality. (Keep in mind: My truth it true to me, it does not necessary apply to you and your truth of reality. It is all true, but partial)
My status, title, money, material possessions, and assets, and my social cluster DOES NOT MATTER, if I have lost my ethical framework, while gaining all the above. If I sacrifice my ethical framework, I have lost everything that truly mattered to me in my life on earth. If I stop seeking the truth of my reality I can not live by the values of authenticity, and to take self-responsibility for my life and my destiny.
Without this framework how can I grow my self-awareness? Without self-awareness how can I take self-responsibility and make active choices? Without self-responsibility and active choices in every given moment I am neglecting the importance of free will. Without cherishing free will, how can I learn and strive for self-improvement, without learning and self-improvement, why dream and hope for a better future? Without dreams and hope of a better future, what is the point of living? ...
My depression started with that question and I have found my answer: The point is to live authentically and keep seeking the truth of my reality and simply inspire and empower others to do the same without attachment or ownership of a desired outcome. It is all connected and everything matters as my character is made in each moment, over and over again with every breath that I take. That's it!
Moral (what the group think is right, wrong, good, and bad) will demand of me to keep a balance between awareness and care that every moment can hold and that I can provide with the sincere intention to grow both awareness and care, for myself and others in this and every moment to come. I can seek the truth always, and I can be mindful about what I am sharing and why I am sharing it.
And ... Honesty is the one thing that will strip a narcissist from all her leverage and by doing so, you might get an enemy for life. When faced with a narcissist –without a courageous crowd to back you up– it is ok to shamelessly lie. One of many hard-earned lessons I have harvested from my life trauma.
So grateful for all of it.
Thank you thank you thank you.