When no one believes in you, not even your loved ones or your closest friends, and society diagnose you as crazy, Bipolar 1.
When you are broke, and broken, down on your knees AND YOU STILL believe in yourself ...
When you still believe in that crazy vivid beautiful dream of what your life could be that makes absolutely no sense from where you are standing … That's when you know two things;
1. YOU ARE indeed CRAZY, and 2. YOU WILL SUCCEED
My crazy vivid beautiful dream of what my life could be will come true because there is nothing holding me back now. And in a way, I am already there in my inner world feeling love, peace, and understanding. Now I want to manifest that in my outer world for everyone to see.
The limitations I was experiencing –the glass ceiling– was all in my mind, and I lost that mind, the 11th of February 2019 when I was admitted to the emergency center of St Görans Mental Hospital, having a manic and psychotic episode.
I have lost my mind –thank god–, and I took the chance to reset it. I have re-learned about everything, and rebuild it. I have discovered my true competence and celebrated my successes in my life as I have lived it so far.
I have forgiven myself for the bullshit I did, and ALL the goodshit I didn't do.
I am starting a new chapter and will spend the next 40 years the way I see fit. Staying true to that, of what my heart desires, in collaboration with my conscience. No longer living by the rules of man, but the laws of the universe.
And face the fear of letting it all go, if needed, for the sake of evolving my consciousness.
I have created a bucket list, –And it is NOT about me going to Australia, patting a kangaroo. But, It is fairly specific and measurable. I will share it with you by the end of 2025 if you will, but for now, I will tell you this:
It is about people I want to meet
Collaborations I want to take place
The money I want to make and how to spend it
Retreats I want to visit
Lifestyle changes regarding health
And beautiful environments I want to find myself in
It is about friends I want to keep, and people I want to let go off
And new friends I want to meet
And parties I want to throw
It is about my marriage and me as a wife
And about me as a mother to two amazing kids
It is about me looking gorgeous, becoming the most beautiful version of myself
At the peak of my soul's beauty, right before I die
It is about me, making this world a better place, just by being me
I am giving myself 5 years to tick off my new bucket list, starting from 2020. If I can tick off more than 80% of it by the end of 2025, using my new found tools and strategies, I will give myself the right to claim the Self Mastery title.
But how about letting go of control and surrendering?
Oh, I am glad I pretended you asked ...
You see, I have figured out What I want to do, and Why I want to do it that resonates with my heart, not my mind. Therefore, the how, the when, and with whom, are no longer up to me. I have high expectations and desires but there is no attachment to the outcome. To participate is the real joy. It is freedom being manifested in the journey. There is a sensation of gratitude for the courage of just telling you in this very moment. Let's see how far I can go from here.
Setting high expectations and achieving worthy goals is a big part of satisficing the soul. Soul satisfaction is true happiness that gives a peace of mind. It is the attachment to those expectations which is the control that I have let go off, not the expectations itself. As I understand it; That is what surrendering to the unknown is, that is a leap of faith.
I will give myself 5 Major Fuck Ups along the way. I will give myself the permission to wake up and reset as often as needed, which is a crucial tool for personal growth next level.
And, when ever my heart feels the need, I will say I am sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you.
Personal Growth Next Level means a mind, body, soul, and spirit connection. I know crazy right? Well ... I am crazy, we don't have to dwell on that anymore.
Fun note; Once I embraced my crazyness, I didn't feel crazy. I felt awake, alive, and unstoppable. Crazy right? I invite you to dwell on that for a moment ...
As you can see –and read– I am putting my money where my mouth is. I will live as I preach.
Watch me as I take a leap of faith in my potential and succeed, or watch me fall flat on my face –as I have done so many times before– either way, it will be exciting and we will learn lots, you and me both. Of all the desires I have in life the number one is; To learn from this. When the going gets tough I will try to always come back to that.
Some of you will think "The bitch is back, so full of herself, hybris personified". It is one way of looking at it, and I am done trying to make myself understandable to you. How about this promise; every day, from now on, I will try to prove you right. And some of you know that there is a chance that I will actually pull this off. Because some of you could sense the potential too.
I will go for everything in life. I have nothing to lose and no time to waste. And I have already started by telling my story. I am presenting my insights mostly based on my own tangible life experiences, most of which are NOT scientifically proved studies. And I present it in a non-apologetic way. Providing empowering content with actionable tools for personal growth next level, if you will.
You can find 30 blog posts about my journey so far.
www.wakeupandreset.com, and you can find more empowering, and inspirational content on my Instagram. Most quotes are from a state of hyper mania (a pre-state to a manic state) you decide if they make sense or not @wakeupreset
I am infinite potential in a field of endless possibilities, and so are you!
(The most scientificlly-proved-thing I have said so far)
Come with me –if you dare– I am not going smooth, easy, comfortable, or simple. And there is one rule if you choose to join me on this ride; take self-responsibility. I hold you responsible to take whatever resonates with you and leave the rest behind. My role is not to convince you, force you or make sure that everyone is on board.
My role is to play no role at all
I want to build confidence and competence in you, I want to empower you and free your mind. I want to inspire you to take a leap of faith in your own potential and to trust that there is a meaning to ALL the shit if you choose to make it so. For that to happen, I can not tell you what to do ...
I have to show you how I did it!
Ready? Let's jump!