When I was depressed it was hard to go for a run or care about eating healthy. I just could not find an answer to the question; What's the point? Then someone would say;
–But if you go for a run, you will feel more energetic and then you will feel that you can do a lot of other stuff and then you will feel more energetic because of that …
It doesn’t work that way when you are depressed. I know the arguments are true when you are feeling fine. So the arguments just made me feel worse overall since it was so obvious that I was in really bad shape. For me, it was as if I was slowly dying and I didn’t know how to stop it.
Being depressed, made me realize the level of ignorance I was representing when I just could not understand how someone, being depressed, could let go of themselves completely. Now I know what it means to be depressed. It is like a DEP REST. Real-life experience is always a great way to raise awareness. Now I am grateful for all the lessons my depression has given me.
The only image I had in my head was the image of me, being on top, running a mile within an hour, and feeling great. That image just made me even more depressed.
I had such a pain in my back around my pelvic area. At some point, I started moving my body in our living room. I just started stretching and I could feel how much my body really needed that stretch. I kept it simple. I had regular clothes on. I didn’t push myself to much. Eventually, I got involved with youtube and found Hatha yoga that is a slow, calm class. It was a very good entry for me to get my body moving again.
My lesson: I needed to accept the fact that I was far away from being a person running. I was far away from everything but a slow-paced yoga and a slow-paced yoga was just fine, it was good enough. More than once we need to ”kill” and rebuild our self-image. Holding on to my old image of myself prevented the new image to come through.
I have accepted that everything is energy and Hatha yoga is great for releasing energy that is stuck in my body. It is a great bodywork that was a crucial part for me, helping me to get out of my depression. Now it is great bodywork that helps me stay healthy and happy.
Now I have yoga as a daily routine, sometimes only for 15 minutes, but I stretch my body every day. I feel the benefits of this every day. Yoga is a great way to heal. To control your mind and awareness just like meditation.
There are so many great yoga teachers on youtube and a lot of it is free. I started out with this girl, Brett Larkin.
Today I have my own favorite postures and I have music in my headphones that helps me stay focused in my zone. This is what I listen to during my yoga session. Gajumaru.
During our vacation, I got up at 6 am, before the rest of the family, and did yoga for 45 minutes. If you would have told me this a year ago … I could never imagine that I would be THAT PERSON. So proud of myself. And this is why I do it, why I do yoga:
Decreased level of stress
Decreased level of anxiety
I experience an overall improved quality of life. More present, more grounded.
Helps me stay happy
Promotes my sleep qualities
Improves my flexibility and balance. I notice it every time I sit on the floor playing with my kids. Or just picking up stuff from the floor. Or getting out of bed in the morning. My body feels younger.
Improves my breathing, in and out of yoga. It is easier to breath
Promotes healthy eating habits. The body is a vehicle of everything else in me. Yoga makes me fall back in love with my body and treat it better again